As a trans person, it is so Twilight-Zone-esque to hear a cisgender womanmaking a video on the fact that we as transgender people can’t use the restrooms and then laying into, “well, how are you going to feel when abearded man goes in there and has to use the restroom,” and then they go on and on and on about it, and you are that bearded man, and they think it’s humorous. It’s not funny. That’s not the take. It’s not the time for that. Now is the time for actionable allyship.
Not like, “oh, well, your pronouns are valid”. No — literally do something. You all are the ones legislating against our bodies, where we can go use the bathroom. It’s so annoying. Then you can’t even get the point made without further mocking us.
A bunch of idiots out there. For real. It’s like it’s a waste of time to legislate where we have to relieve our bladders. You all don’t even have an actual plan, an S.O.P. on how to actually manage that. It’s stupid.
Then, in Kansas, you’ve got a bounty on trans people. Incentivizing, like, it’s literally like a gamification tactic to then further demonize us in public as transgender people when we literally just want to utilize the bathroom.
And then for the allies to not get that, it’s not funny to say, “Oh, wait until a bearded man has to go use the restroom.” Yeah, it’s not funny to me. I’ve had to deal with this for the last 10 years. So, when you’re going to try to be an ally and make a point, make the correct point. Don’t make us the butt of a joke. We’ve had enough of that.
Y’all are so stupid. So stupid when it comes to trans people. So stupid. But you’ll get on the hashtag about it. You’ll make your social media account name literally “trans” whatever, and you’re not a trans person. Yet, you want to literally take up space and talk about all of the challenging, discriminatory things that we as transgender people actually go through as if you’re agoddamn expert. You’re not. If you haven’t lived it, you don’t know. And it’s not something to mock or make fun of. But it’s not the first time. It’s not the first time I’ve heard it online. And it’s not the first time I’ve heard it a milliontimes in person.
Wake up, you cisgender people. You can’t even be proper allies. It’s like the same thing with the whole birth control thing. You think someone who’s AMAB should be taking up space and talking about birth control, which is something that AFAB people like myself actually have lived experience with? But no, they will be the first ones to literally prop themselves up and talk about scenarios that they have not lived.
The best thing you can do if you want to talk about something and advocate for someone is to literally bring one of them into your video, or at least listen and learn from them first before you want to talk about something that youhave no idea what it’s about. It’s not funny when I have to use the restroom as a trans man. It’s not a punchline.
The fact that in I don’t know maybe a year or two years, maybe all of us trans men are going to have to go into the women’s restroom and then when we do you all will harass us and then when it gets to that what will the other jokes be it’ll be like “well you all wanted this” rather than fighting continually fighting to be an actionable ally for trans people who seek change in just having the equality that you benefit from your privilege of being able to go use the restroom, not be harassed, not be made fun of, and not be used for online clout chasing because you need to make a piece of content and you want to seem like you’re on the “DEI train”. It’s infuriating when you cisgender people talk about us, and you literally don’t even think about ourhumanity.
How many public bathrooms have I avoided in the last 10 years? I can’t count it, but it’s thousands. That’s not funny to me. It’s been annoying, just as every other issue that I have to deal with as a transgender person, which is discriminatory.
Think before you want to make trans men the butt of your joke. It’s not the point that you think it is. You actually look like what we are already fighting against.
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About Rev. Dylan Thomas Cotter:
Dylan Thomas Cotter is a prominent gay transgender activist, PR expert, motivational speaker, and author known for his memoir Transgender & Triggering: The Life of Dylan Thomas Cotter, which details his journey through identity, transition, and resilience in Hollywood, appearing in major publications like Vice, Rolling Stone, Out Magazine, Inked Magazine, and Truthout amongst others. He leverages his extensive background in marketing and brand strategy across tech, entertainment, and fashion to amplify diverse voices and champion authenticity and self-expression.