A Transgender Awareness Week Op-Ed
I have built my career on analyzing human behavior, systems, and agendas with the precision derived from my INTJ MTBI, pattern-driven, strategic by nature, and intensely focused upon unearthing what many often fail to see.
That said, not a damn thing prepared me for what it actually meant when the spotlight finally swung my way.
Additionally, nothing else equipped me for what that spotlight lit up about society, specifically its dynamic, or lack thereof, with transgender people.
An Existence of Systems Constructed to Isolate Us
Well before my name was seen in headlines, prior to features or speaking requests or consultation requests on personal branding, I invested many years maneuvering systems that were apathetic or blatantly adversarial to people such as myself.
- Discrimination in the workplace cloaked as “culture fit.”
- Denial of healthcare disguised behind loopholes from insurers and ignorance from healthcare providers.
- Bias in housing expressed through retaliatory treatment after providing an updated legal court decree pertaining to updated name and gender marker to property management company.
- Hostility and minimization from government entities that exist to help citizens experiencing social hardships, which treat our existence as trans people as a joke in addition to an inconvenience.
- Distance from family justified in their minds with passive-aggressive statements like “maybe now you can move on” and “we just need time”.
Oppression isn’t always overtly loud. It’s in the silence. That’s the part of my life as a transgender man that few see, but I live the experience of.
Risks Intensify
When I began having more of a front-facing media presence (I am aware of the irony here) I experienced a hurtful reality:
As a transgender person, my visibility isn’t just exposure; it’s a total fast track to opportunity, of course, but also that of scrutiny, bitterness, and hostility.
Elevated visibility brought me career advantages, but it also brought in:
- Insecure individuals who took my success as an assault on their view of the world.
- People who were uncomfortable seeing a transgender person hold space in a place that they were confident was not intended for someone such as me.
- A big increase in unsolicited opinion commentary, rude questions, indirect anger, and antagonism.
- Efforts by the media to mold my identity into a controversy.
The more publicly aware, eloquent, and successful I became, the more frequently certain people projected their insecurities upon me. This isn’t an uncommon occurrence: if social psychology research reflects anything, it’s that those who carry bias, whether it’s conscious or unconscious, may feel threatened when people from marginalized communities prosper in areas that they have assumed were reserved for themselves.
So, I’ve lived through the aftermath of that particular dynamic, and all I can say is – haters are gonna hate. Our success as transgender people refutes their desired story about us.
Opposition can turn rather swiftly into anger.
The Mechanisms Behind Threat Perception
When a transgender person is thriving, it acts as a shocking reckoning for people who’ve constructed their worldview upon a strange system of hierarchy.
To quell what is always asked of trans people, now, for some cisgender individuals (not all of you), just the mere sight of a transgender man in a role of authority, leading, succeeding, strategizing, and shaping public discourse triggers many deep feelings, including but not limited to the following:
- Anxiety of losing status in society
- Defensiveness regarding personal identity
- Sheer panic of losing their unearned social advantages
Often, we can and do see these reactions come up as:
- Unkind commentary
- Criticism of tone vs. ideas
- Strange attempts to sabotage credibility
- Character assaults & smear campaigns
- Exclusion in spaces of socialization
- In volatile situations, physical intimidation and violence
For those again viewing this article through a cisgender lens, know this: I do not make generalizations pertaining to any community, including your own. When you learn not to always center your worldview, you’ll be better adept at absorbing content from those who live a different experience than that of your own.
I am discussing those who seek to weaponize their discomfort and feel thrown off in their own life due to insecurity when the world expands past their biased assumptions of the trans community.
Those seeing transgender people as high in demand and functioning at an elevated level push back on the stereotypical narratives that we as transgender people are “less than”.
Now, when those people feel inferior, they don’t work on their personal development through self-reflection – they get angry and retaliate.
The Catch-22
As a publicist, I have a deep comprehension of how stories in the mainstream media shift public perception.
Exposure devoid of context becomes mockery.
Exposure devoid of nuance becomes danger.
Even when the press attention is positive, there’s often a subtext:
- “Wow, look at how brave they are.”
- “Look at how much they’ve overcome.”
That positions our existence as transgender people as novelty as opposed to humanity.
Then the public internalizes that narrative.
When stories about us center on tragedy or ragebait the general public begins to think that’s all that we are.
We are more than this.
Why I am Still Visible
Not because I like attention. I am visible because silence perpetuates systems and because not being visible has never protected my community from harm, as we are among the most harmed communities in the United States, if not the world at large.
As I grow in my career every day, it is more and more apparent to me that my presence in and of itself is advocacy.
My Note to My Fellow Trans People and All Members of Marginalized Communities
I’m gonna keep it real like I always do:
Our existence isn’t up for negotiation.
Our success is not by accident.
Our power is not burdensome.
Our excellence is not a threat, though it may feel that way to those who are scared of change.
Oppressive systems may attempt to keep us small.
People might try to intimidate us.
Organizations might pretend that we do not belong.
The reality is that belonging isn’t based upon systems.
It is asserted by those of us who refuse to vanish.
We are still here.
Every damn day.
That matters.
In Honor of Transgender Awareness Week
This post isn’t for sympathy – it’s a transcription of truth.
Our Transgender Awareness Week isn’t just about visibility.
It’s about shedding light on the cost of visibility and what it turns into a possibility.
It’s about stating the real-life experiences that so many of us go through quietly.
It’s about pushing back on stories that were projected upon our community.
It’s about taking back spaces to showcase our own truths.
If I sound blunt, it’s because acumen honed by adversity often tends to.
If my tone sounds unwavering, it’s because I’ve had to become that.
If my insight makes you feel intimidated, it’s because maneuvering systemic oppression requires a high level of analysis that most people have never had to cultivate and could never develop for themselves.
But let’s say my message has you all fired up, great, then I’ve accomplished my goal as it was intended. We as a community progress together, steadfast, strategic, self-determined and unafraid of our own radiance. This is because our lives are defined on our own terms, not the projected narratives that society once expected.
They are a testament to the simple fact that we, as transgender people, endure.
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About Rev. Dylan Thomas Cotter: With over fifteen years of expertise in PR and strategy, Rev. Dylan Thomas Cotter stands out as a strategic advisor for elite clients across entertainment, technology, fitness, fashion and beauty. His dynamic life experience enhances his ability to elevate brand messages and drive impactful engagement.
Dylan Thomas is proud gay transgender activist and author that has appeared in Vice, Rolling Stone, Out Magazine, The Advocate, Yahoo! News,Pride.com, Mashable, Inked Magazine, Truthout, Well Beings News and Newsweek that happily resides in the Hollywood Hills with his partner.
His memoir Transgender & Triggering The Life of Dylan Thomas Cotter is available now at Barnes & Noble, Harvard Book Store, Book Soup and Skylight Books amongst other fine retailers and is distributed worldwide through Ingramspark.